The more we built this new spiritual identity, the clearer we saw that everything that Christ did was finished, accomplished, complete and that the end result was perfect spiritual life for mankind. We realized that everything he did in his time on earth was a display of the power that we would possess once he completed His mission. We came to the conclusion that there is nothing more that we needed (not prayer to get healed, not laying on of hands, not a mediator or a spiritual superior). Yes, it became clear that there was nothing more that God could do for us. Yes, everything he could do, he had already done almost 2,000 years ago.
So the only thing that still needed to happen was for the tetanus symptoms to stop. Or so we thought. Yes, if we were honest, even though our revelation of who we were in the Spirit grew more and more, we were still waiting for God to do one more thing: Take away the tetanus symptoms as evidence of our healing.
The symptoms (or attacks on our true identity as we liked to call them) could be summed up in two categories: Spasms in various body parts and lack of ability to breathe. They would manifest in various ways and various degrees of intensity over a span of several years! Without exaggeration, on over one hundred occasions I was faced with a life or death moment. The symptoms were so intense that I just could not breathe, either the lungs were cramping or my throat tightened up like someone is choking you.
Every single time I had the choice of which world I would live in. Would I hold on to spiritual truth and live in Him and as a result he would live in me? Or would I give in to fear and let the earthly circumstances that were pounding on my door question my belief of a perfectly restored spiritual realm, which actually had power over the physical realm. I knew that it could not be God’s will that at the age of 31 I should die. So I just held on to my new identity which superseded my human identity. In reality, I had to die to this world in order to live in His world.
In the early phase of the attacks I would have a few Bible verses that I would cling to. None bigger than John 16:33 AMP:
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
I would just stay in Him, rooted in the fact that he deprived this world of power to harm me. Yes, he overcame the world for me. He rose from the dead for me. Especially in the beginning the attacks would come at the most inopportune times. Usually when around other people and I could not focus on my spiritual identity as much as I needed to.
I remember one incident where I was literally a split moment away from passing out due to lack of oxygen. As it came upon me, one thought of fear would give way to the next and I could see it spiraling out of control. Literally at the last moment I was able to regain focus and I could see who I really was, my true identity in Christ. The fog lifted and perfect peace amidst the storm came. Needless to say, the storm subsided.
